Posted on December 21, 2024

Grief is complicated to navigate at any time. But there's something about Thanksgiving, Christmastime, and the arrival of a new year that sharpens the pain of our loss. The holiday season's bright lights and merry cheer make it particularly hard to fill the gaping hole left in our hearts by the departure of someone we love. Yet, when we're intentional about caring for ourselves and finding ways to honor our loved ones, we can find a way through this season and even experience a little joy. Here are four ways to survive the holidays when you're grappling with grief, especially if this holiday is one of many firsts without your loved one:

Allow Yourself to Feel

Has someone ever tried to subdue your sorrow by telling you something like, "They're in a "better place"? One thorny side in a journey with grief is when another person, in a sincere attempt to comfort you, encourages you not to be sad. Sadness is a very real part of grief. I would be worried if you weren't sad after losing someone you loved. No matter what others may say to try to discourage the emotional expression of your grief, permit yourself to express whatever emotion you may be grappling with, whether it's sadness, anger, or nostalgia. Expressing how you feel is critical to growing in your grief.

Create New Traditions

My sister died just weeks before Christmas. Because she made Christmas special for her grandchildren, we honored her memory by hosting a "Happy Birthday Jesus" party for the kids. While remembering the reason for the season, they made ornaments using pictures of her. Creating new holiday traditions that honor the memory of your loved one is a healthy way to manage your grief. It helps keep their memory alive and focuses on the good times you experienced with them.

Reach Out for Support

When you're grieving and feel as though no one understands or wants to "hear it," it's easy to isolate yourself. But connecting with friends and family is essential for your emotional well-being, especially during the holidays. Find someone you can talk to who will understand and not make you feel bad about where you are on your grief journey. If you can't find someone among your family and friends, a consolation support group is a safe space to share where you are without judgment or pressure to "get over it already."If you’re in the Chicago area, the Apostolic Church of God runs a consolation support group every third Saturday from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. To learn more, email [email protected] or call 773-256-4125.

Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is critical for overall well-being, even without experiencing a significant loss. Yet, it's one area that many people neglect. Anxiety and stress are at all-time highs; losing a loved one can take an already stressed-out person over the edge. Prioritize yourself during this time by intentionally caring for your whole being—body, mind, and spirit. Exercise regularly. Just taking a short walk in nature is good not only for your body but also for your mind. Get quiet: turn off the TV, put your phone on silent, and turn down the noise in your mind for an hour or two. Go to the movies or find a funny movie on Netflix. Laughter is a powerful healing agent.

Conclusion

Remember this: no matter what anyone tells you, it's okay to grieve. There's no time limit, as everyone's journey is unique—and that's the key: grief is a journey. As you learn to navigate life without your loved one and find ways to continue to express your love for them, especially during the holiday season, you will grow, heal, and experience joy in every season without them here, even amid your sorrow.